Bovine Excrementitious  

Posted by Stan Harrington


Prior to your perusal of this writing, please refer to the "Cautionary Statement" that is clearly posted directly to the left of your screen. This cautionary statement has always been posted on this site to warm those readers that the author does possess the tendencies to embellish or conjecture in his writings. However, the use of deceit, lying, untruthfulness, or Bovine Excrement is not utilized in these same writings.
I bring this to your attention, as it was just brought to my attention in recent days that there is a particular site that some of us will visit on a regular basis that practices a flatulently style of writing. The site that is being referred to "Flatulant Disorder". The name in itself should warn you that this site practices Bovine Flatus as it is incorrectly named, the correct spelling should be Flatulent. In the event that you are not aware, Flatulent is marked by or affected with gas generated in the intestine or stomach and normally expelled through the anus which is called flatus, however, in this particular case the mouth could also be considered a suitable orifice.
And why do I bring this to your attention? In recent weeks, a Bovine Excrement story was generated on this site pertaining to the authors mother getting into trouble on a recent visit to the LA area. The story continued, that she was cited and had to appear in court and was sentence to community service. Considering that she is a very respectable lady, in her early 70's and highly regarded in the community of Homer, I immediately wanted to go to her defense. In the process, I discovered that this was a story contrived by himself and my daughter with support from a couple of other siblings.
Being the honest person that I am, I do have to admit that they did pull it over on me and had me convinced that it was reality. That is good, but I learned a long time ago that if you give you can expect to receive . Your fallacy was convincing, however, allow me to tell you of a warning that my late brother Don advised my niece when she decided to pull a practical joke on me. "Prior to doing it, give it some serious thought, as you might get him but I will guarantee that he will not get even, he will get ahead". Time is not of the essence.

This entry was posted on July 24, 2006 at Monday, July 24, 2006 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

8 comments

Father you have been ahead for years...I am just working on catching up...but it would take four life times to do that so I will just take what I can get...as the story went on we told you the truth at one point...you were so into being pissed you did not hear so it was kind of your fault we kept it up...how could we not...you set it up for us...I will be looking forward to your next move as it takes you awhile to plan the suspense should drive me crazy. Just know that I have always loved you and this little prank was done with love...and a little help from a source out side of me...I have Never been able to tell you a "story" and not get caught...someone helped me keep a straight face for the 10 days we were down on the 4th. So with all my love I say "Did you talk to Grandma yet?"

7/25/06, 4:14 AM

I assure you that it was a great joke, you pulled it off very well and had a good support group behind you. Since our last meeting, they have all been identified and are on file. Pertaining to the campaign that your grandmother ammassed in defense of Wanda, I did tell her what had happened and curtailed much of the public out cry, however, at least two letters had already been prepared, signed, and mailed by several people in Homer and forwarded to the state attorney with a copy to the Govenor and to officials within the city of LA. What will come from them, I am not sure. The issue is still out there.

7/25/06, 9:19 AM
Anonymous  

Shan you are in big trouble.... i wonder if this would be conceieved as contempt of court or at the least slander of the american Judical sysytem?

7/25/06, 9:29 AM

Heidi posted a "unam" comment, she knows she should not have her name attached - sorry - to late, you are also on file! You are one site behind me in your reading.

7/25/06, 9:31 AM

How rotten! They had me going too! And I'm not even involved in the shenanigans. Shame shame

7/25/06, 1:43 PM

Damn I'm good

7/25/06, 2:00 PM

"Homer", whoever gave you that concept? If it was a compliment from Shana, we all know about Bovine Excrement.

7/25/06, 8:14 PM

I had to run with it while I had you on the ropes. I think this is the first time I have ever pulled one over on you and it will probably be one of the last. That is since you are the all wise and knowing Grand Eagle Master.

7/26/06, 11:00 PM

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